“Mr. Mom”
My cousin has decided to quit his job and stay home with his new infant son.
There were many discussions between his wife and himself about where the baby would be when she went back to work. They looked at daycares and talk to people who watch children at their houses but they just couldn’t decide. They felt like their baby was too young to be put in a daycare. They got some references from others who knew people that watched children at home. But who could they trust with their small six week old baby? It is a very difficult decision to drop your baby off at daycare or in someone else’s care that’s not a relative. They felt if the baby was older it would be a different story. But many people have already told them that even with age it doesn’t get easier to leave your child all day long in someone else’s care. It doesn’t matter if the child is two or three or four; it still is difficult. They were also informed by others with children that their life would change because now their first priorities would be about their baby.
So my cousin decided to talk to his company about leaving for about a year to raise his infant at home rather than in someone else’s care. His company was very understanding. They told him when he is ready to come back to work to call them and they would try to find a position for him. That was great news for his sake. The thought of leaving a good job in this economy takes a lot of courage. My cousin gave his two weeks noticed and left his company to raise his child.
I think it’s a great decision. But the family is calling him “Mr. Mom”, which he hates. And who can blame him. I don’t like the name either. He’s caring for his own child at home on a daily basis and then the family starts referring to him as or calling him Mr. Mom. I think he just needs to tell the family he doesn’t like be referred to as Mr. Mom. I think they would listen but he just gets angry at them about it. It’s causing him anxiety over the situation rather than enjoying life with his infant son.
What do you think about the name Mr. Mom? Is it gender bias? When fathers decide to quit their jobs and stay home with their children, it’s changing the traditional family life. I think it’s great when fathers stay home because the norm in our society is for the women to leave their careers. But to reference these dads as Mr. Mom is just not a name that should be used. It is still making generalizations that it is a women’s job to take care of the children. It we are trying to change the way people view males and females in our society, then we need to stop using this type of communication in referencing to the dads that decide to stay home and raise their family.
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It is so nice of your cousin to leave his job to take care of his new born baby. Most of the time the lady is the one who leaves her work to take care of her baby. I think your cousin should not care about what the family says and try to ignore them as long as he is happy with his decision and he was the one who chose to do it.
ReplyDeleteMy dads' friend after he lost his job, he stays at home with his first granddaughter. He feels so happy that he is taking care of his granddaughter, and whenever someone asks him "where do you work know" he says "Babysitter instead of my wife". The first time I heard him saying that I remembered the movie “daddy day care”.
I felt that my dads’ friend talks about him babysitting his granddaughter so proudly and happy to show the people that it doesn't matter for him whether it is a male or female job as long as he is happy and enjoying what he is doing.
Robin,
ReplyDeleteThis particular policy that the daycare center had is very interesting. How could they, as you had already said, not allow other employees that they hired be excluded from their duties. It does not seem right at all. Are they accusing the male employees of sexual assaults without cause or justifications? Did they have a prior assault with a male employee? Maybe they enforced this because of a prior incident. The policy should be that no one whether male or female be alone with the children. There should always be two people in each of the rooms at all times because of incidents that could arise. But for this daycare to just rule out the male employees from particular duties is not fair.
-Nicole
Taran,
ReplyDeleteYes, judging a book by its cover will sometimes lead you the wrong way. And what you learned from the tanning salon was a great example of this kind of situation that probably happens everyday. You sure did show the other employee a true lesson and hopefully she learned from it. But most people just judge others on how they look before giving them a true chance.
As for the girls you heard in the bathroom, well some girls just want free drinks. But it's probably about the attention too. Some girls just want attention from the males in the bar arena. And to each their own. Not me I just would want to spend time with the people I came with and not with strangers buying my drinks.
-Nicole
Nicole,
ReplyDeleteIt's funny because my week 4 blog posed the same question. "Mr Mom" is kind of a gender bias name especially since you don't hear people walking around calling working women "Ms Dad".
Your cousin has made an excellent decision to care after his child and I think that any parent that has the opportunity to do so should.
A co-worker of mine is married with 4 children, he works full-time and his wife is a teacher that home schools his children so that vary in age the youngest is 2 the oldest I believe is 6 (literally stair steppers).
In order to get the adult communication that you sometimes crave after staying home all day with a child, in this case children... his wife works a few nights a week bartending at a restaurant.
So... thumbs up to your cousin and if the name really bother him, the only way to nip it in the bud is for him to tell his family that he dislikes it.