My “Eureka Moment” was when I went to the grocery store this past weekend. I was at the deli counter awaiting my turn. When I noticed the deli assistant trying to make conversation with this woman he was waiting on. At first, I thought well maybe she knew him but then I quickly could tell she was trying not to answer him and he just kept trying to make small talk with her. Then she turned to me when she was done and rolled her eyes as he called my number. All I kept thinking was great, I just want deli meat not a conversation with a deli assistant.
So, I proceeded to tell him my selection of deli meat. They were light turkey, salami, buffalo chicken and provolone cheese Oh yeah, I also mentioned that I wanted all of them sliced very thin. He then began asking me questions. His first comment was “These sound like they are for a man’s lunch not a woman’s lunch?”. I did not say anything. “Sliced thin, it’s for a man.” He kept it up with “These are lunchmeats are things that a man would eat”. “Are you buying these for a man?”All I kept thinking was just cut my deli meat so I can get out of here!
He made four different comments all relating to my personal situation. I finally agreed that they were for a man, so he would stop talking about it. I am not sure what his intentions were but there is no reason for questioning me about my deli selections and who they are for? There is no need for small talking especially when they are personal. Ok, maybe small talk about the weather outside but they should focus on getting their job done not asking personal questions to their customers. Maybe he was trying to see if I had a man in my life but it’s still no excuse for it. In my opinion, these questions or comments were rude and uncalled for. Should they be allowed to question their customers on a personal level while working? I think not. People are hired to do a job not personalize with their customers.
While serving the public, you should be polite and considerate to your customers not rude and annoying. You want to make people come back to your store not drive them away. I probably should have mentioned it to someone at the store but didn’t think it was worth it? Maybe I could be changing our society by reporting him but all I wanted to do was leave. “Communication occurs in particular situations or systems that influence what and how we interact and what meanings we attach to messages” (Wood, pg 32). Communication is influenced sometimes by how we are feeling or the time of day or how words and actions are interpreted. Was this an instance of sexual harassment? I think so… I do not like talking about my personal life to complete strangers. It was none of his business if my selections were for a man or a woman. “Communication is an ongoing dynamic process without clear beginnings and endings” (Wood, pg 32).
Who knew that your deli selections could be gender related? Certainly not me!!!!
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Robin,
ReplyDeleteThere are a lot more male teachers now in the elementary grades. Female teachers were probably the norm many years ago in the elementary grades. The children could relate to a “mother” figure when they are first starting out in school. But nowadays children are in daycare at a very early age and separation from their mothers is very small. However, there was one male teacher that had taught 1st grade when I went to school. His name was Mr. Bert and I think Bert was short for a really long name. All of the teachers; the kids; and the parents loved him. He seemed to be a great 1st grade teacher.
As for male babysitters, I don’t know of any. But I don't see anything wrong with it. It certainly is a stereotype against the male gender. Babysitters are usually girls but that’s good news that your son is breaking down the barrier to gender biases.
Being in the military is a difficult situation. No one wants to see their loved one in a body bag regardless of male or female. Both sexes are equally concerning when it comes to war and death. But women are just as capable as men in fighting for our country’s rights or defending our country. Everyone should have an equal opportunity to defend our country if they choose to regardless of gender.
-Nicole
Kesha,
ReplyDeleteNo I don’t believe you can change yourself from gay to straight. You are born a homosexual; this is not like changing your hair color or your clothes. You cannot change your emotions on how you feel sexually about another person. Your happiness should be when you are living your life based on truth and reality not based on lies about who you are. It usually never works out long term. Your friend is not being true to his own feelings and especially not being mentally faithful to his wife. But he needs to realize this for himself. You should encourage him to follow his feelings and be true to them especially for his wife’s sake. He needs to think about her feelings and how she would feel if she knew he was thinking about other men when they are engaged in an intimate situation. He truly is not being open-minded and rational to his own feelings. There is nothing wrong with being homosexual and maybe that’s where he needs to get professional help to try to address this issue. There are a lot of reasons why he might not be accepting what his emotions are telling him. I think just being there for him and listening to him is a great way for him to express himself without anybody judging him. The more open he is about it; maybe he will realize that he could have a happy life or relationship with a man.
-Nicole
Tiffany,
ReplyDeleteThis is a typical response from males that I come in contact too. They often say “we don’t look at the men that way … or it’s not cool to be looking at other men or their appearances…”. This situation seems to be the typical response to when you ask a man to comment on another man. They avoid personal information when it comes to other men. It might suggest to other people that they are weak or vulnerable. If a man shows sensitivity or vulnerability, they feel it could be viewed by another male as being a sissy, mama’s boy, a wimp, or gay. But in reality it should not make a difference about commenting on others whether male or female. It does not make the male less masculine, like they all think.
-Nicole